Dear Dad,
It was Valentines Day last week which means we all had love on our minds.
What things do you love to do? Have you always? Or have the things you loved developed over time after uncovering hidden passions, feeling their benefits, and striving toward further fulfillment?
As it turns out high level of satisfaction is mostly obtained from working on traits, characteristics, or goals that are not easy to achieve. This is true in personal relationships—with a spouse, close friend, or sibling—as well as external activities—job promotions, material gain, or health and wellness goals. The process of working towards something with a known benefit will make you fall in love with not only the desired outcome but the process that got you there.
“Most of the people who love to exercise, eat healthy, and take care of themselves didn't start that way.
But as they stuck with it, they felt better, looked better, and fell in love with the process.”
This insight is not revolutionary but is easily forgotten or over looked. We tend to view ours journey, or that of other’s as a picture rather than a video. Pictures show a freeze-frame final result where a video recording will show the process. The picture tells us a lie—that’s not my personality or he or she has always been that way—the recording shows us the true growth process leading to the outcome.
I am known as the “healthy” one whether at work, socially, or within the family—probably in some minds to an extreme extent. I’ll admit that eating healthy, exercising regularly, and sleeping soundly is not hard for me to do. This week, waking up before work to exercise, eating a delicious salad overflowing with legumes and roasted vegetables for dinner, and being asleep by 9:30 p.m. will take 0% discipline. It is what I want to do. To look at that picture and think that it’s always been like that for me is laughable. You know! You had a front row seat to the full story.
You remember the chunky fifth grader that you signed up for basketball just to make sure that I ran at least 1x per week (as a wrestling family it’s hard to convey how drastic a step this was). The middle schooler who beggggged for a Big Mac and milkshake anytime we saw those golden arches. The early high schooler that emphatically told his mother, “I can’t wait to be done playing sports so I don’t have to exercise ever again.”
Something happened in the intervening twenty years and it wasn’t the discovery of a magic pill. Had I stopped after the first practice when I was the worst on the team, or thrown the first healthier foods I tried preparing in the trash out of frustration, or gave up exercise after my formal athletic career ended, then I never would have found the thrill of gasping for air after running my weekly 5k, or felt the power in saying “no thank you” to a fast food pit stop, or learned to experience gratitude waking early to log miles before work. These forgotten and overlooked steps stacked over time, day after day, and increasing in reach, led to a drastically different picture than the one I was heading toward. And I love it.
Loving to do something is not a requirement of doing it; it is the outcome of doing it.
With Love,
JSR
