Dear Dad,
Who is the person that you know the best?
Most people would answer a spouse, child, parent, or close friend. But the answer should be the same for everyone. The person you know the best should be you. Make 2025 the year that you reacquaint with yourself!
The sad reality is that many of us don’t know ourselves. We are constantly bombarded with extrinsic content about who we should be, what we should believe, and how we should behave, without internally wrestling with these questions on our own. We’ve developed into an army of surface scraping robots meandering through life as tension builds, stress accumulates, and unhappiness prevails. This way of living, completely out of tune with yourself, leads to a myriad of dysfunction and regret.
Bronnie Ware was a nurse who specialized in caring for people close to death. She wrote a best selling book based on her experience, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A life Transformed by the Dearly Departing. In this book, Ware explained, that people on their death beds categorically tend to have the same five regrets. What was #1?
“I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
The courage to live a life true to yourself, starts with knowing what is true to yourself. Such a relationship takes works. It’s a corky idea, but it is true. Just because you are, does not mean that you know. One of my favorite quotes, which I’ve heard attributed to comedian Pete Holmes, “You would never believe what you believe.”
How many of your own beliefs and actions are products of your own intuition and discernment rather than outside influence and peer pressure? This self inquiry is the catalyst to strip away external mandates and begin to act in-line with who you really are. Such a mindfulness journey will profoundly change your life for the better—even as it relates to eating.
Food presents an interesting dilemma. Food nourishes, gives energy, and is necessary to survive. Food is also abused, in the same way that we abuse social media, work-life balance, or illicit substances. It is used to mask what is really going on inside. The line between eating to nourish and over-indulgence to mask something hidden can be a life long search. One that I, admittedly, still seek to find.
The first step toward conquering this tension is to know yourself and be fluent with your own emotions. For instance, I know that when I am stressed or annoyed I want to eat. The other week our dishwasher broke. As water leaked onto the kitchen floor and I frantically (unsuccessfully) tried solving the problem all I wanted to do was eat. It was very bizarre but clear in my brain—eat something to satisfy the annoyance that you feel. How distorted?! My dishwasher breaking has no relation to hunger. Food is necessary to satisfy hunger not mental anguish. Yet, many of us use food to cope with the latter. I know that I am not alone. It’s no wonder that statistics show that our population is more anxious, depressed, mentally unhealthy AND overweight. It takes a large degree of self awareness to combat emotional eating.
There are so many opportunities ahead in 2025 and I sincerely hope it is the best year yet. As you embark on any goals, resolutions, or objectives I challenge you to start with the basics. Re-stablish your relationship with you. I bet you’ll be fascinated with who you are.
With Love,
JSR
