Dear Dad,
Saturday I ran a marathon. First of many—maybe (?) You may not line up for a marathon any time soon but always be on the look out for hard things to do.
A few weeks ago I attended a lecture by Arthur Brooks, a Harvard Business school professor and happiness scientist. Dr. Brooks made a point that I think is ignored too often this day and age. Erasing pain does not help you find more happiness.
In fact, Dr. Brooks argues as the science supports, that human beings actually require pain, discomfort, and struggle to experience happiness. Satisfaction is the joy experienced after struggle and it is a necessary ingredient in all happiness recipes.
Most would agree after an honest life assessment that the best and fullest memories come on the heels of pain. So why do we spend so much effort avoiding it?
Here’s one take that I think is pretty spot on:
“Everything in our culture is about maximizing luxury, relaxation, and comfort. I think that has created a society of very unhappy people. What we should be telling people and encouraging them to do is seek out discomfort. Relish and welcome challenges into your life. Anything that is pushing you outside of your comfort zone and forcing you to grow inner personally—whether it’s physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually— I think are experiences that should be our default. Always search them out. Short of that, I think we become unhappy, depressed, isolated, discontent. The forces of modern culture and marketing are counter programming what truly makes us feel alive.” Rich Roll, The Proof Podcast, Ep. 99
Training for my marathon was a struggle. It took careful planning of early workouts, long runs, and fighting off knee pain that plagued me in the past. The race itself was grueling, the last three miles anyway, and finishing wasn’t immediately all that joyful. But once I got something salty to eat, cold to drink, showered, and changed into some clean comfy clothes, it felt pretttty sweet.
Whether it’s getting (back) into shape, signing up for a race, or a different fitness goal, always remember, there’s joy in struggle! Welcome pain. It’s a key to unlocking new levels of happiness.
With Love,
JSR
Best article yet. Very inspirational